No more Promise til Monday.
So, last year, I had to move very suddenly out of state (which was a shitshow, and a whole other story). Spent a year living with my fiancee’s family, and we’re finally moving back to where I lived before (upstate NY) come August First.
Moving is pretty stressful, though I’m very excited about where we’ll be living. I’m trying to make sure the whole thing effects Promise as little as possible. There won’t be any comic the 30th 31st, 1st, and 2nd, however. After that, we should be back to a regular, daily schedule.
There are a lot of things going on for me right now, even aside from moving, but Promise is one of the biggest, most important things in my day, and I’m glad its a part of it, every day.
I just wanted to take a moment to thank everybody who reads Promise. I have to say, to see people taking the time to think and speculate about my tribute to the Silent Hill series makes me happier than you can imagine. It gives me the warm fuzzies. I won’t comment on any of the theories that are going around, because spoilers right from the author would be the worst thing ever. But thank you to everyone who gives Silent Hill even a moment’s thought.
My days were so….simple, just a few months ago. I would come home, eat something from the fridge and sit in front of the television. I’d catch up on my shows, watch a bit of the news and call it a day. Easy, quiet and uneventful. I really should have kept it that way. I honest to fucking god should have.
But a man has needs, you know? Something so primal that it dragged me off my ass, and out into the sunlight. Companionship. The desperate want to find someone to take to bed at night now and then. to watch things with. Someone to talk to. Loneliness is like a parasite. taking and taking from you without ever giving anything back but an empty feeling inside.
So off I went, you know? I went to clubs, bars, the god damned library looking for someone. I looked and I looked, and didn’t get a single bite. Nobody was interested. Girls scoffed at me in the bars, girls ignored me at the club…and one snooty bookworm even got me kicked out of the library! I was at the end of the line. Bought myself a one way ticket to singleville. I felt it was maybe time to give up the hunt, so to speak.
That’s when I met her. The sweetest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. She was beautiful, with a winning smile, and hair as gold as fucking fort knox. A body straight out of some magazine. She even seemed *interested* in me. She was a student, she said. Wanted to work in a pharmaceutical company. Smart, pretty, and honest to god…she was sweet as pie. A perfect catch, right when I was right at the end of my rope.
We hit it off right away. She seemed down for whatever I had in mind. Had a few dates, going to arcades and a few shows in the big city. We progressed, and she came over to stay a few nights after our dates now and then. She never let me go over to her place though. Said i was ‘embarrassingly messy’ or some shit. I didn’t mind. My place is nice enough I guessed. I had my DVR there. My guns. The sturdy locks….
But where was I? Oh yeah….my place, her…all that. Sorry. It’s been real hard to concentrate lately. Bear with me. So…yeah. She starts spending all kinds of time at my house. And here I am, thinking like i’ve struck gold. Someone who wants to be around me. The end of loneliness. She even liked watching the same shows as me! We’d snuggle on the couch, watching the TV and occasionally kissing and cooing to one another. Sickening lovey dovey shit, I know, But it was fun…pleasant.
Of course, all good things come to an end, right? They do. Because the more I saw her, the more…some of the things she did didn’t make much sense. Her stare, when we watched television..it never quite seemed to focus completely. She’d stare at the screen…or right above it, eyes glazed, smile slapped on her face. It was..weird? But I just assumed she enjoyed the bright light, or something.
Or there was the time with the rat. It was loose in our kitchen, scurrying here and there. She wasn’t scared. In fact she seemed almost delighted. She found it ‘cute’, and kept trying to chase it around the chairs and table, to catch it. I warned her it probably was filled with diseases, or maybe some fucking parasite or something, but she shrugged it off. “I think i can fight off a little parasite” she said, with a giggle. I remember the exact way she said it. Her pitch wavering up and down in a little singsong. She caught the rat, and claimed to keep it as a pet.
I never saw it again.
It wasn’t long after that I started to feel Ill. It came in waves. Spikes of pain that traveled through my veins to every inch of my body, dizzying heat that seemed to burn in my brain and my stomach….my throat felt tight. My thoughts and mind began to ….become…strange. I…well….hah…
Lets just save that for later in the story, huh?
I begged to go to the hospital, but she swore I would be okay. She told my confused and receptive mind that she could care for me better than any stupid doctor. That if I just listened to her, I could be out of bed in a few weeks. Walking around on my own two feet. I don’t know why. I really don’t know fucking why I believed her.
I couldn’t think straight, is the answer. I was losing myself to the disease, as it flushed through me. I had visions. Visions of creatures swimming through blood, of teeth and of wriggling lines that crossed my vision like snakes. My body felt constantly hot. It felt like my …no…it feels like my insides are writhing. Squirming about within me. But nobody came to help.
My girlfriend ,she helped. She always helped. She would come, feed me my soup…always the same soup. She would hold my hand through the pain as it started to settle for the night, and kiss me deeply.
What strikes me now, now that i have clarity once more…is how i could feel a second tongue in her mouth during this little ritual.
But I didn’t , not at the time. She was a perfect nurse. She would tell me I was progressing. that things would be okay soon. I would be healed. That she loved the me inside.
My body didn’t stop hurting though. I didn’t’ feel healed. I didn’t feel better. Not even when i saw the long, twisting lines moving under the flesh of my arms and stomach. Squirming. Slithering. Like there was something inside me. I would giggle the thought away, lost in my own little world
But all bad things come to an end too, right? Sort of. The pain never went away….but she ….I remember the day she left me. She came in, like usual. wearing that ridiculous nurse outfit she insisted on wearing. Her hat tilted slightly on her disheveled hair. The tendrils slithering their way periodically out of her eyelids and lips as they twisted just under the skin.
Just like always.
Only this time, I noticed. The potency of her little mixture…whatever she was that she was giving me in the soup or the kisses or whatever part of her ritual it was connected to… It must have gone down. My mind, it felt clearer than it had in weeks. I finally woke up.
The pain. The pain in my body was unbearable as i jolted upwards. I could see…see the exposed bones and scales of some kind of …..thing, coming out of my fingertips, out of my stomach and legs….something inside me.
She reacted with surprise, dumping the soup, and stepping back.
I tried to stand and lurch at her, but the …thing….inside me, had other ideas. My legs went out. and i quickly found my way to the ground. Her fingertips caressed my face for a long moment, before she stood, and ran out the door, leaving me alone, with only the soup, this notepad, and the god damned tv.
Even now, as i try to move my fingers to write this, they shake, and quiver, trying to move with the will of another. I find myself standing in rooms where I did not fall asleep. I feel them moving inside, devouring me, taking my body for their own.
I don’t know how much longer i’ll be here. My thoughts have already become muddled once again, and slip from my grasp before I can finish … finish…you know?
Maybe someone will find this. Maybe someone can stop this.
Maybe what makes a person really is on the inside.
Like a parasite.